Context: When Chandler saw that Matthew had over one hundred messages in his inbox, he complained: "Aw, nobody ever emails me!"
November 1st:
Hey,
This is Matthew A. Jonassaint, that one weird guy you work with. And I just wanted you to know that you have a message in your inbox, so now you can be almost as popular as me! Hahahahaha!
--Matthew
November 13th:
Dear Mr. Jonassaint,
We are pleased to inform you that you have rendered yourself important enough to the respondent individual that he (Chandler Walpole) has selected you for a reply e-mail message. We are currently unaware as to the circumstances in which Mr. Walpole was detained, therein preventing him from responding to your afore sent message more promptly; however, he has assured us that the said circumstances were important in nature. Moreover, he sends his apologies for any inconvenience that may have beset you while anxously awaiting his reply message. He made known to our representative that select terms such as "that one weird guy you work with" as well as "almost as popular as me" were intriguing to him, as he believes that you, Mr. Jonassaint, are not "weird" and "popular" but rather "eccentric" and "prominent" due to the professionalism that you exhibit. Therefore, he hopes that you are jubilant and satisfied in receiving a reply message from him care of our organization, which has no direct affiliation with Mr. Walpole, excepting that it originates from his anfractuous imagination. Thank you for your time and consideration of this bogus message :)
-Chandler
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